No Matter What, Here We Stand! PSA: This blog is PG13 on it best damn days!
While suturing a cut on the hand of a 75 year old rancher,
whose hand was caught in the squeeze gate while working cattle,
the doctor struck up a conversation with the old man.
Eventually the topic got around to Obama and his role as our president.
The old rancher said, ‘Well, ya know, Obama is a ‘Post Turtle”.
Not being familiar with the term, the doctor asked him, what a ‘post turtle’ was.
The old rancher said, ‘When you’re driving down a country road and you come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top, that’s a ‘post turtle’.
The old rancher saw the puzzled look on the doctor’s face so he continued to explain.
“You know he didn’t get up there by himself, he doesn’t belong up there, he doesn’t know what to do while he’s up there, he’s elevated beyond his ability to function, and you just wonder what kind of dumb ass put him up there to begin with.”
Best explanation I’ve heard yet.
Ya know what gets my goat? Ya know what makes me so mad, I wanna knaw down the Cherry trees is Washington with my bare teeth?
It’s Yuppie Nesters.
That’s right, you didn’t read it wrong. Yuppie Nesters.
Comin’ into a rural area, buying up the land. On account that the old farmin’ folk are dyin’ off. The minute they do, the third-generation yuppie grandkids inherit a parcel of land. Does that mean anthing to them? Just one thing. “Ca-ching!” Real-estate deal. Fast bucks.
So here they come, to escape the mess thier social-politcal idiocies made wherever they came from. Bringing the same with them.
One of the most glaring, is the penchant for five-acre lots. With a Mc-Mansion in the middle. All the rest lawn. Grass, just grass.
So, then it’s a seven-thousand dollar mowing machine to keep it looking like a golf green; and they sit on their ass, burning gas, to mow grass. Then, buy food at the market, and bitch about prices.
All the while, taking some of the finest agricultural land in the world out of production; to create a bedroom-community for bail-out escapees.
Meanwhile, they raise land values, and accelerate tax re-evaluations that further drive the generations-long tenants off their land. Fucking assholes.
What a stupid society.
I’m happy to say, I’ts not my society.
This came to me in an email. I didn’t bother to check it’s veracity, for three reasons. One, I’m a lazy hillbilly. Two, it’s just so funny and so damn true, it doesn’t matter if the backstory is true or not. Three, if you’re that worried about it do your own research. I ‘aint yer library bitch.
Headstone of Russell J. Larsen in the Logan City Cemetery, Logan, Utah.
I wonder if he died knowing he won the ‘Coolest Headstone’ contest? His five rules for a happy life are at the bottom.
FIVE RULES FOR MEN TO FOLLOW FOR A HAPPY LIFE:
1. It’s important to have a woman who helps at home, cooks from time to time, cleans up, and has a job.
2. It’s important to have a woman who can make you laugh.
3. It’s important to have a woman who you can trust, and doesn’t lie to you.
4. It’s important to have a woman who is good in bed, and likes to be with you.
5. It’s very, very important that these four women do not know each other or you could end up dead like me.
Ay-yup. A man needs all those things from a woman. Reality is, he can’t get ‘em all from one woman. Worse, they don’t unnerstand that.
From DoD Buzz — How to lower F-35 costs? Lockheed asks employees.
The military’s deadliest foe, foreign or domestic, is the ever escalating price tag on modern military hardware. Those alive and in the services today can scarce remember a major program that came in on time or under budget. Fewer and fewer are coming in at all.
“We used to complete 90% of a program before we learned it was too expensive to build, impossible to maintain, and then cancelled it. We are better on that front today because sophisticated computer simulation lets us see prices increasing while the bid quotation is still in the mail. We can start cutting back, preparing for the inevitable lawsuits, and getting ready to cancel while the ink is still wet on the purchase agreement.”
The Air Force F-35 program has used innovative techniques, some of a questionable nature, to avoid cancellation in spite of a six fold cost increase and a delivery date that lately has slipped 14 months for every year that passes. If we hadn’t made the determination to pay for more and more pre-production test aircraft with production scheduled dollars the shell game would have been busted years ago.
Separating the engines from the airframe, in effect making the engines optional, was one way the program saved money with one hand while spending with the other. “In a report filed on 18 June 2009, the House Armed Services Committee cited Pratt & Whitney F135 engine program cost overruns of $1.872 billion as cause to continue funding the F136 engine.” By using only $2.4 billion dollars to pay for the second choice GE engine, and then later cancelling that engine entirely, tens of millions were more were saved. Now these methods are starting to save less with each iteration as a few congressmen out of touch with their brethren catch on.
Making the wings and landing gears optional may not be enough any more as cost of each jet exceeded $200 million a copy. This is six times as much as promised at program launch. And many observers feel the most recent estimates are far too low. If life cycle cost are included we could now be at the $800 million per plane stage. And still no end in sight.
Here the Wiki gives us some 2012 low ball pricing on aircraft that will require millions more in retrofits before they ever reach service status. And these prices will only rise over time.
F-35A: US$197 million (flyaway cost, 2012)
F-35B: US$237.7M (weap. sys. cost, 2012)
F-35C: US$236.8M (weap. sys. cost, 2012)
“George Standridge of Lockheed Martin has said that the F-35 will be four times more effective than legacy fighters in air-to-air combat, eight times more effective than legacy fighters in air-to-ground combat, and three times more effective than legacy fighters in reconnaissance and suppression of air defenses – while having better range and requiring less logistics support and having around the same procurement costs (if development costs are ignored) as legacy fighters.”
Ignoring development costs, another winner. We could ignore all testing costs as well. And maybe the cost of the raw materials. But then as the Wiki states: “A United States Navy study found that the F-35 will cost 30 to 40 percent more to maintain than current jet fighters.” We could leave that out too.
Some consider any and all of this money well spent on a program too big to fail. Many aeronautical engineers and Air Force procurement officers have spent their entire careers, their service lives, working on this porker. It is a disaster of more than twenty years in the making. It is the most expensive weapons program ever and proponents say it would be a shame to cancel it now, before the plane reaches operational service sometime in the next ten years or so. But this is exactly what could happen if costs continue to rise and problems keep delaying the troubled jet.
The DOD Buzz article states:
“The F-35 program was initially sold to the Pentagon and Congress as a low-cost way to provide all three U.S. military services with new-generation combat jets. But costs run amok. As a result, the Pentagon, Congress and outside critics are making noise about program costs and hammering on Lockheed to make the aircraft more “affordable.”
It’s always a disappointment when “Costs run amok.”
“PORTLAND, Maine – A civilian employee set a fire that caused $400 million in damage to a nuclear-powered submarine because he had anxiety and wanted to get out of work early, Navy investigators said in a complaint filed Monday.”
A Portsmouth, N.H. man, Casey James Fury, faces life in prison if convicted of arson in the fire aboard the USS Miami attack submarine while it was in dry dock May 23 and a second blaze outside the sub on June 16.
“Fury was taking medications for anxiety and depression and told investigators he set the fires so he could get out of work, according a seven-page affidavit filed Monday in U.S. District Court in Portland.”
“If convicted of either charge, Fury could face life imprisonment and a fine of up to $250,000 and be ordered to pay restitution, officials said.”
Let’s not go too hard on the lad. He has learned his lesson and after the Navy rehires him he promises never to do it again.
Once again as a public service we bring you the Week in Saratov
One of my friends picked up a chocolate bar with the windows and went to pay in cash, the other waiting for an opportunity. He began to act after she opened the cash register tray, put a gun to his head saleswoman, he ordered her to lie on the floor.
Office of the Federal Security Service of Russia in the Saratov region held a regular teaching and training activities “conditional suicide.” The object of attention was the Federal Security Service officers space station, railway station “Saratov-1.”
Head Saratov Oleg Grishchenko wrote in his blog wishes the athletes who will represent the region at the Olympic Games in London. According to him, Saratov must literally get tears from world leaders.
The police officer clearly asked a local resident to leave the roadway. In response to the actions of the employee DPS, the man started to behave aggressively, and resisting, beatings inflicted representative government.
According to them, in the evening news TV July 25 North Korea has shown footage of Kim Jong-Eun examined the construction of the amusement park in Pyongyang, along with a young woman who was represented by the announcer as the wife of a young leader.
Authorized under the Russian President for Children’s Rights, Pavel Astakhov said that now understands the next incident in the U.S. with an adopted child from Russia – this time an 8-year-old boy ran away from foster parents that he was treated cruelly.
“For applications that are contrary to the Olympic values ??and ideals, the leadership of the Greek national team at the Olympic Games in London has decided to exclude from the country’s national team athlete Paraskevi Papahristu” – the official site of the National Olympic Committee of Greece.
According to one version, the embryos can reach the side of the road from the organization that conducted the research. The pros and cons of this version – in the material corresponding “Vesti FM” Marina Kostyukevich. Where were brought, and that planned to do with embryos – is still unclear.
The scientist was quite surprised to his discovery, as the wildlife of Britain, he said, thoroughly described and carefully classified. “Great Britain – is an example zadokumentirovannosti wildlife, so it’s strange to find this individual, which has not been seen before” – said Eversham.
The answer surprised the variety of tastes. It turned out, all the astronauts were involved in some of his associations. Thus, for some space smells of meat and metal. According to ISS member Tony Antonelli, he often felt the smell of fried steak, the smell of hot metal and welding fumes.
The specialists of Russia and Japan will hold a series of meetings in which to discuss plans for the cleaning of debris. Agreement to hold such consultations was reached during the visit of Deputy Roskosoma in Japan, according to TASS-PRESS.
German robot AILA has a female figure, her head adorned with a modern female hair, and big black eyes – much more graceful shape, compared with the broad-shouldered, NASA Robonaut robot muzhikovatym 2, instead of a head which had a space helmet.
And that was the Week in Saratov.
I figure a few of our readers will find this fascinating. I did.
From the Wiki: Samogitia
“Due to the fact, that in 13-16th centuries the Teutonic order and the Livonian order bordered Samogitia, it was always threatened by their expansionist aims. As such, Samogitian territory was offered to these Orders, or exchanged in peace treaties, a number of times. Lithuania would regain Samogitia back again in subsequent conflicts.”
“For more than two hundred years, Samogitia played a central role in Lithuania’s wars against the crusading order of the Teutonic Knights (Knights of the Cross and Knights of the Sword). Invasions started in Lithuania in 1229. Combined military forces undertook numerous campaigns against Samogitians and Lithuanians. Saule (1236), Skuodas (1239), Durbe (1260), Lievarde (1261) are just a few of the battles that took place. Since Samogitia was the last pagan region in Europe left to be invaded and christened, Teutonic order set their sights on this last mission. Between 1345 and 1382, the Knights of the Cross attacked from Prussia some 70 times, while the Livonian Knights of the Sword made 30 military forays.”
“Year after year fortresses were attacked, farms and crops were put to the torch, women and children enslaved and men killed. Despite all their effort, Samogitians managed to defend their lands until 1410 decisive battle of Grunwald, where united Polish-Lithuanian forces defeated Teutonic order and ended their crusading era.”
We now return to our regularly scheduled programming.
The title of this post is kind of a joke, but the song could use a more dynamic singer. And in his early years Michael surely was. None the less this is one of the few, perhaps the only, math anthems you are ever likely to hear.
It was written for the International Math Olympiad in Brazil in the 80′s, 87 I think. Still stirring today. They just ran the 2012 version, and no — I didn’t win.
[flashvideo file=http://www.olddog.name/Video/IMO_Hymn.mp3 width=328 height=30 volume="90" repeat="none" /]
“The change heralded by the Gerald R. Ford class of carriers – starting with the namesake carrier due in late 2015 – is one of a number of new features meant to improve sailors’ quality of life and reduce maintenance costs, Capt. Chris Meyer said Wednesday.”
“Urinal drain pipes clog more than toilets and therefore can be smellier and costlier to maintain, Meyer said.”
“Omitting urinals lets the Navy easily switch the designation of any restroom – or head, in naval parlance – from male to female, or vice versa, helping the ship adapt to changing crew compositions over time, Meyer said.”
The production cost of the three Ford Class carriers is said to be only $37 Billion. Anyone want the under on that bet? This is more than three times the inflation adjusted price of the current Nimitz Class. We are talking an additional $8 billion per ship here. The Navy claims that reducing the crew size by 660 and reduced maintenance costs will pay for the difference. Sure it will — when we start paying sailors on average $700,000 dollars a year, or no longer need to maintain urinals.
Lies! Lies! Lies! Lies! Lies! Remember the A-12? No? — I didn’t think so. And that was without making it all PC and Gender Friendly.
How about a study to show how much money we could save by excluding women from all naval vessels?
Now this here is my kinda outfit. Where do I sign up?
If your truck is worth more than your mobile home, you could be a redneck.
If the guns in the truck are worth more than it is, you could be a redneck.
If none of your vehicles has two wheel drive, you could be a redneck.
If the terms muddin’, booniein’, or hell-ride are part of your courtship ritual, you could be a redneck.
If you think that ‘laptop’ refers to a mode of carrying a revolver while road-hunting, you could be a redneck.
If you can remember the names of all six of your coon-hounds, but not all four of your grand-kids, you could be a redneck.
If you tolerate poison ivy because it keeps folks out of the yard, you could be a redneck.
If half your children were conceived on a pressed-steel glider swing under the willow tree in the front yard, you could be a redneck.
If your folks told you not to date your first crush because she’s actually a cousin, you could be a redneck.
If you dated her on the sly anyway, you could be a redneck.
If you wound up marrying her sister, you are definitely a redneck!